bookings...

tattoos and relationship therapy, but not at the same time.

still waiting...

well its been a few days and not heard anything from the community mental, so am going to call my work insurance company and see if they will cover outpatient therapy. the booklet says they cover inpatient - as much as i'd like the vacation i don't think that is really what i need right now though. so will call then see if the doc will refer me private. love the nhs but sometimes there are just too many hoops to have to jump through!

am also looking at the relate website alot too, the fiance has mentioned that he thinks we should go to counselling to try and get through this together. i've found someone close by my house that has saturday as well as evening appointments so will see about getting a session with her. have also looked at all the books that are on their site to buy but i'm not at work for a few days so will order them when i can get them delivered...and fingers crossed next week i might not be needing the books anyway!

well i've never done it before...

but i finally asked for some help to deal with the fiance situation.
the more he withdraws from me the more anxious i get...so i went to the doctor for some prozac and someone to talk with. i'd expected just a photocopied sheet of paper of groups or something that i'd probably not be able to go to anyway because they all happen during the workday
(evidently only people without jobs go whacko...)

but my doctor really came through this time and referred me to the community mental health nurse for a few sessions to help figure out who i can go talk with.

phew, now i just have to wait for them to get back to me!

24 years ago today i had a fresh c-section scar!

i can't say that it has all been happy days again this week. my life is still so up/down that i don't know what to do about it anymore...so just sitting tight and waiting it out, but it's so hard knowing that the fiance is having such a hard time and his way of dealing with it is to withdraw away.

but, tonight is my daughter's 24th birthday so i'm sure there will be lots of celebrating...also because she's just moving into her new studio flat today! so birthday and housewarming.

her new flat is down shoreditch, so not too far from where i work or hang out.

so today i'm really torn, as its my daughter's birthday and we definitely want to celebrate (can't wait for some cupcake goodness) but my fiance is also my life and my best friend and everything else and we've shared everything 100% so its sooo hard to do anything without him there.

o dear please don't read that as some weird whatever condition where you go psycho for the other person! i just love him to bits, that is all.

okay, enough of cherie sharing time today - i've got new lovely mirrored furniture for one of the bedrooms being delivered today so think i'll also buy myself a new glass lamp. ironic though as i'd bought this furniture for the spare room so isis would have somewhere to store her things, and it gets delivered the day she moves out into her own new flat (that's already furnished). so maybe i'll just put it in my room for now to try and cheer myself up!

o o o good news!!! my friend lucy just txt'd and she had her little baby on the 5th. he's such a cutie. sounds like it was a horrid 72 hour labour so hope she is okay...i better get crocheting.

its hitting here now.

that was surreal for sure...

the fiance's job thing is bad (but i think its for the best) and he's officially out looking now - so if anyone has any digi-wigi-doo-dah head of production type jobs please let us know!

and as well as losing his job his house was also broken into the same day, they say bad luck comes in threes so i think that is it for him for awhile.

well, fingers crossed!