eating

back down to 87.3 kilos - but means i have not met my target of a kilo a week for the last two weeks. ok - some of it may be down to getting my neck lipo'd and not able to work out for a week or so, but still - i wanted to look good for when the scandos arrive on bank holiday weekend! and also i know i've probaby been nervous eating...waiting for my mother's biopsy results to come through tomoro.

so am sending as many good vibes and prayers as possible to her tonight.
she must be soo stressed waiting.

april goo...

finally seem to be getting my first post-depo (birth control shot) period. and it doesn't feel right or like any of the other periods i've ever had...for one thing this bleeding is dark dark almost black, and chunky like a chocolate brownie. but with cramps that are alot less painful than any i've ever had in my life, ever. strange. so maybe it is my time...my little sister is 3 years younger and already complaining of menopausal symptoms - so guess it should be happening to me too as well? not sure how this works with siblings - but my daughter just came round and she was on her period too so that means we must have synched when we stayed together in paris last week.

o paris...i so miss it already! can't wait to go back. but i also want to do a tour of bakc home to see everyone - i'm gettin really soppy and homesick in my old age. yes. old age. my birthday came and went. celebrated it with new work friends and soho family. was really nice and small and chilled. then, went to dinner with the fiance...who things are still up and down with...altho at least now when things are down we are at least still communicating so i don't feel so lost.

so time i would usually spend with him, i am filling with as many things as possible - spent ages at the gym today working out to my new routine - my weights still going up and down, fluctuating a couple kilos a day...probably something to do with the period stuff.

also still using my time to craft, and made a really cute 12 pointed star out of sock wool this week. i've also joined a stitcher's book club and have downloaded an audio book to listen to while i crochet...am really looking forward to going to be early tonight so i can listen to it. the book we are doing is 'water for elephants'.

and of course housework is taking up the usual hours!
dishes, bills, and laundry - the sunday mantra...

stop...in the name of love

this has to stop.
i'm eating myself to death...ugh!
because of the art project i weighed myself and am 87.1 kilos!
which means i've gained ALOT since all this has started going on with the fiance.
so today's menu is coffee with soya milk, and tofu and salad for lunch and dinner...well fingers crossed as am meeting up with my friend luckygirl13 for lunch as she's over here visiting from dublin.

still not talked to the fiance.
don't know if this is finally it or not.